Go and read and weep and shower her with all the love and then, if you survive, come back and read my spoiler-filled gushing praise.
OMFG. I may as just quit writing right now as I will never manage to create anything as exquisitely perfect as that opening Sam/Lucifer scene. It is quite possibly the best opening scene to any fic I have ever read. You had me hooked and mesmerised and amazed at:
... the gleam of bone at his knees and knuckles.
Oh I could just curl up and die with this use of imagery, so shockingly simple.
And then this, OH GOD this. The whole sentence sent me to heaven but esp the part I've bolded:
They circle his nipples, fasten the shriveled sacs of his balls, hedge the border where his asshole connects his outsides to his insides.
Words can't describe how much I love how you describe something so familiar in such an new and fresh and absolutely chilling way. You really are making me see and making me feel what Sam would look like without his skin.
That scene just by itself was the perfect fill for the prompt. This was probably the most perfect sentence of all:
Lucifer tuts in disapproval of the mess, but when Sam sobs he gives in, soothing, rubs Sam’s snot and semen and tears into the long seams of his skin. It feels amazing. It feels better than anything ever has.
Again with the detail and imagery, perfection!!!
Would have been content with just those few paragraphs (which I just want to read over and over for the rest of eternity) but then there's more!! And it's all so wonderful and delicious and just everything I want and need and love and wish I could write.
Sorry if I end up quoting most of the fic but I love each and every word, each and every sentence so very much.
Cas looks like he often looks during sex, calmly curious.
and then you had to weave in this little detail that just shattered my already broken heart:
“What do you want, then? To be my safe fuck? Come on, Cas. Don’t you see? This way you can be sure that it’s me inside. This way I can be sure. It’s not like I’ve never been him.”
It’s a visceral thrill of sense memory, somewhere in Sam, the feeling of snapping his fingers and watching Cas explode. Getting Cas off is never that moment of absolute power. Sam should make sure that isn’t what’s going on somewhere inside him. He should get Cas to reach in and just make sure.
The horror of Sam thinking, fearing he still has some part of Lucifer still inside him, controlling him and how he interacts with Cas. Just kill me now, why don't you???
Another simple and yet oh-so perfect line. My body tingled when I read it!!!
The first order. The pleasure of it sings along Sam’s veins with every step to the chair.
And this. I can 'see' Sam's expression, the want in his eyes that he can't quite hide, 'hear' his voice, the hint of desperation and perhaps a little bit of shame too!!
Sam never does this, ever, not with people he knows. Sometimes with strangers he picks up at the right kind of bar. Very occasionally he pays someone to do what he needs. Minimal risk. Most of them are good people, and even at worst they’ll only knife him for his wallet. They can’t really get hold of him.
You’ll have to tie me,” Sam says. He hopes he doesn’t sound too eager. He hopes at least Cas doesn’t realize what he’s eager for.
OH GOD, I would give you everything I have to read the fic about the 'not good people' Sam meets to give him what he needs. And why am I so sad that being knifed isn't a big deal? And that he can only trust strangers and not those close to him and who care about him. Oh, Sammy!!!!
And he wants to be hurt, needs to be hurt, gets off on being hurt!!!
the drugged, hot, perfect weight Sam feels when he knows he’s going to obey someone who will hurt him.
And with the addition of only one word, you show us Sam being honest with himself, at least. Love how you did that!!!
It’s only been since the Cage. It’s mostly only been since the Cage.
And just when I'm sure you've already written my favourite line/s, you hit me with this gem!!!
He needs to be a mermaid under there, to breathe water, and then he needs someone to tell him to cut off his finned tail and walk out on bleeding, deformed feet back onto the land.
OH, FUCK, FUCK FUCK!!!! Sorry I have no other words. Sam wanting Cas to fuck his soul!!!! I need that fic!!! I want that fic!!!! Who do I have to kill or sacrifice for you to write it???
What Cas is doing shouldn't be so erotic, but oh god with he way you describe it, it is, so very much so!!!
What are you doing? he wants to ask. But he can’t. Cas’s belt is in his mouth and Cas’s hand is in his chest., feeling around his ribs, the cage where they’re locked up together. Fingering him. It’s unbearably intimate.
I am officially in love with your Cas. With these words and the sorrow and pain that I can hear as I read them, he's stolen my heart.
“No. Stop it. I don’t want to come. I don’t want to come from what we did. Just — stay. Please stay. But don’t touch. Please.” Cas’s voice isn’t calm any more.
At first this seems like such a weird thing for Cas to say “I can’t have your hair close,” Cas says sharply. “It tickles.” and yet, it makes perfect sense and shows just how affected Cas is by what they've just done, that he can't even bare to be touched by Sam's hair, something normally so innocuous and harmless. Or is it that he likes that it tickles but he obviously doesn't want to feel even that tiny scrap of pleasure.
And when Sam does this: Sam scrambles over and sits against the headboard, out of reach. He wraps his arms around his knees and locks his wrists in his hands., all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and give him the biggest squishiest hug that I can. He must think Cas despises him and no doubt believes he deserves it.
Love how you connect & compare what Sam tells Cas about whales with what Lucifer did to him. Especially loved the Moby Dick mirroring.
And the ending is just as perfect and exquisite as the opening, though in a totally different way. Quiet and hopeful and almost soothing when I can finally release the breath I've been holding for the last few minutes.